Stop working for him. Its been an extremely rocky relationship but has the tendency to resolve itself. funny and stupid for I was foolish to be trapped with his flowering words. Not ever. He is quite affectionate and does make sure the bills are paid etc. hes never romantic, never takes me anywhere spontaneously it just goes on. Its time to let him go, you did all you could. Do not sound attacking or desperate. Even when I would ask him in advance if he would like to make plans this weekend, he would say something like, Probably or I have a lot to do but we will probably figure something out. And then it would be the last minute, Hey you want to come over? So I was already starting to get the clue that I am a last priority option. My issue lately is, he will tell me he will come to my house on Saturday after work, then later he will call and say he has to go get his dogs and pick them up. He got a job and now works from right after school until 8:30, six days a week. You should definitely read the book why men love b*tches this really goes into depth on why men do that. Hi! He said he was planning on proposing that year. So what I want to know is do this guy and me still have a chance to fix things? so I do have to take that into account, and when his parents go away for the summer its wayyyy easier to spend more time with him, he becomes so laid back. You need to allow yourself to do something else. He compromised but I guess his old self is back .Ive not heard from him today as well.I would understand if he was unwell,Id appreciate it if he could atleast send me even a short message so I wouldnt get so worried. The first two years of the relationship he was wonderful. I suppose its not at all about him but when I have time to think, my mind goes to him. I told him I loved him and the only reason why I would ever leave him is if he cheated on me. Im slowly giving up but everytime i try to let go he acts like he rlly loves me and he wants me back. I always yearn for good morning texts, prioritize seeing me during his off days and checking in during the day. Most people reading this right now are probably thinking oh my god youre so young and u have so much time! im still giving him a 100 up till today. Its always laying on the couch watching TV. A couple passing times of the day, well meet just for a couple minutes. He gets very quiet and is hard to talk to. It wasnt any thing bad. they say love is sweeter than the second time arounnd, probably to some but not on me l met my boyfriebd wayback in highschool .. Im so gullible that time that I gave him everything I had. The man I end up with will not leave me hanging feeling sad and confused. He cheated on me and the worst part is that he left like me a cigarette butt. But he reminds me almost daily that he thinks Im lazy and should be working at if Im not in school. Hes never been married no kids etc. However, if my boyfriend was gaming with another girl I would have broken up with him. Get away from him immediately! All I think of him is selfish & inconsiderate of everyones feelings but his own. Today I found out that hes planning a trip to Rhode Island to hang out with his cohort in May and has even already booked the hotel yet hes not said a word to me. He barely showers and Im afraid he barely feeds my son when Im away at work. Honestly, I cant feel good about myself because I gave an attention hungry narcissist permission to treat me like crap for 7 years. He is making zero effort for me. (He still didnt) I asked him to please text me if he was going to be late and he got upset with me. We lived together in my apartment for about a year & a half. The main problem in our relationship is one: I go out of my way for him all the time and apparently that is ok. It isnt fair. I thought hed at least try to make a plan. What did you end up doing ? He went out and bought 48 roses he surprised me with though out the day for Valentines day and took me out for a really nice dinner- he even planned having sexy time (which got postponed finishing). You cant control your feelings, but you can control what you say and do. Things you never even thought of knowing. He snaps at me more now that we live together and anytime I try to bring up my sensitive feelings they are dismissed as drama he cant handle. I would go on my off days when I wasnt in collehe classes or work. Thats was our first time seeing each other in person (granted, Id seen him randomly beforehand in elementary school years before that). In all reality if he is losing interest youll know in time. The point Im trying to make is, if you settle for mistreatment and excuses for why its ok, youll only end up resentful and unable to trust anyone again. its just do not putting attention at all. He used o do his laundry, make his bed, clean the kitchen, cook himself and I dinner when I was at HIS place a lot or even when i moved in with him! Create your own personal world girl. He however is a very intelligent, high functioning person with autism. I couldnt take the iPad with me if i snuck out but i did tell him to meet me at my gate at midnight. Hi im kushi, 25yrs old.. My boyfriend and I have been in our relationship for 3yrs now.. Mildly work related topics but no reason for the call other than chat and vent. I tried talking to him and he said I was being to needy. We are here Reach out. But I decided to tell my bf what makes me happy. on the same note, say for example he does or says something that hurts my feelings or upsets me a great deal, not only does he refuse to apologize, but he doesnt make any attempt to correct the situation. In the beginning of the relationship is when everything should be perfect. I feel that I am confused and disappointed. His attitude stinks toohe laughs in my face when I get upset by this. Ive been with my mate for 8 years prior to dating we were band mates .I knew him to be extremely introverted and not the happy go lucky type but I honestly had no idea it would be like pulling a tooth without novocaine to get any emotional response, support or growth,out of him!I feel stunted and see my life ever changing and evolving yet his ,the same .He has taken on many of my attributes oddly ,yet I feel, Ive gained nothing in return. He sense my seriousness and took me out on a date, told me he will make more time to spend with me once a week (Im busy too so once a week is good for me.) But i want to fix this again. Within the past 2 years. Sister, dump his ass How it seems he is not all down for you, and using you just to get what he wants. This isnt a man. Im so interested in him so Im conflicted. im not sure what to do anymore. Some of the things that he was doing I perceived them differently than how he intended them. Maybes its best we leave it and not have to try so hard with the next person. When you're unpredictable, he'll get more excited when you reach out. I spend half my time daydreaming about being actually taken care of by someone. It makes me jealous he could spend time playing games with her not me. He blames his lack of functioning on his religious faith. He wont text me all day till I text him. FUNCITONING ALCOHOLIC. So, whether you've only just noticed your partner giving you the proverbial cold shoulder or have undergone the iciness for weeks/months/years, now is the time to take a closer look at your relationship to establish the reason for the discontent and determine if the partnership is worth mending. He assumed I wanted an argument for asking him to take the bin out. In the second year of the relationship we were going out a lot to bars and clubs, and he began to drink a lot, and would become very aggressive with me, and started to treat me bad. But theres other strange things he does, when we go on dates that require conversation like coffee or dinner, or drives, he doesnt start any conversations. Ive talked to him about it twice to no avail. Till then, you should be determined not to commit to anything or anyone. He said the reason we broke up was because of different love languages, arguing, and that he was not as emotionally available as I need him to be. this article is useful, thank you. But he has never considered making me happy for once. That will show me he doesnt plan on committing for the long haul. WebI was recently "set up" by a friend by him giving my number to a friend he thought would be a good match for me. When he isnt at work he shuts himself in the bedroom and plays games whilst I deal with the kids. Is it too much to expect from a boyfriend to ask out his girlfriend one a month? Were both divorced. After his birthday he left his sisters and moved in with his mom. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 5 years. I think this self reflection is important to ensure I dont repeat this again. Why cant he put in the effort? Hi girl, Im in the same situation right now. Or maybe your boyfriend is dealing with an ex-wife and custody issues, and just doesnt have the time or energy to make an effort in your relationship. Hi, you should not be with this person. Actually they havnt shared any sexual pictures or that was not very sexual conversation. But he laughed at me. Btw he put his board in a form of a heart on his wall for me . I love him very much, he often talks about our future, kids and stuff but he isnt willing to do any sacrifices for the relationship. Wow girl as Im reading this I cant believe I didnt write it lol. I know thats not what you want to hear. i know i should understand his busy schedule. This makes me Am I the problem here? I feel like it would be easier being single which I dont want cuz hes a great guy other wise. We just celebrated our 9 months of being together last Sept. Now if I even suggest or hint at sex it is another argument. If your partner doesn't pay attention to you, it could come down to one of the six signs below. i asked if he was going to write in his and he flipped his lid. What he is doing and how he is treating you is disgusting. Im really worried because from October were doing it long distance and Im dreading that if Im not the one to go see him, were not gonna see each other for half a year. If they are willing- great! Often the dog doesnt get walked for a few hours in the morning because I have to get myself and the kids ready before I can take the dog out when really he could just get up and do it.He never wants to come on walks with us. she tells him SHE is sorry. The crazy thing about all this is that even tho Im the one craving attention and love and effort in the relationship, he actually relies on me a lot. Then we were living in different countries. Would you be better off without him? When your message doesnt have a question mark in it, he might not realize that youre waiting for a reply. The first date was half a year into our relationship at an Italian restaurant. Also, and Im not materialistic by any means, hes offered to buy me lots of things or even just give me money to help with bills. Lets see whats they do. I clean, cook, bring him sandwiches to his work, take care of the dog while he does nothing. Feel so down on a Friday night. I have asked him to write more often if we do not physically meet so often, but I dont want to keep pushing him for more attention. I do far too many things for him. and guess what? I decided to swipe right to see who he was. Disappointment is a strong emotion to deal with. https://www.bonobology.com/husband-does-not-give-me-attention I hope everything goes well for both us to get this relationship last. I went through a period of unemployment and he was not emotionally supportive through this period. On the other hand, if your man is more independent and hes not used Once I asked him for a selfie and he said no because he thought I only did it to prove something to people. I want to be with him but Im also scared that Im wasting my young years and wake up one day regretting not leaving bc he isnt going to change how he is for me or at least try for me. Especially when fighting. Even though he always said he would try. I get everyday but we go like 3 weeks to a month to once a month. I COOK,CLEAN , KIDSAND I WORK. He wanted to hang out everyday which at first I though was strange but I started to so after while it was weird for both of us to not be around each other every day. My boyfriend and me zoomed and emailed and he moved from job to job. I am so sorry you are going through this. He still lives with his mum at almost 30. I then left home and came back a later day. We dont barely talk to each other. You, me, and probably thousands of other girls are in the same boat right now with the Coronavirus. I asked him where he skated since his bio mentioned he skated and then he said he knew me!! Thank you Sumiah, for your response and your concern. Feel like I am too grown for him. I started breaking down on zoom and crying. Somewhere around the last 2-3 months have been nothing but fights. The key is to not give them the key to our happiness. I feel like I could spend my life with him if it were not for one issue that has always popped up. When you let go, you find peace and freedom. We both have a lot of jealousy issues and insecurities. he says that he cares and loves me but doesnt do anything to show me that. I trust him but I just wish he would give me more time. If I try to tell him how much I care he insists I dont. I feel sad when I see these things and feel left unheard and unseen by my so-called partner. I really dont know what how to go about it. Misery loves company, I guess, because I am so damn happy to know that someone else is suffering the same as me and now I dont feel just so alone. And we rarly go outing..but i wanted to be spend my time with him. I do not want to give up on relationship, But seems to be STAGNANT right now. Heres my concern-We live 70kms apart amd stick to phone calls and texts and online communication. I asked him to go to a Valentines Day dance and we went. Although weve talked about it many times and although I told him I wanted to go out once a month, he doesnt initiate. Its sad when other give you the compliments that you are looking from in one person. He doesnt ever say I love you first, he doesnt hold my hand, the most hell ever do on his own is give me a kiss here and there and theyre quick pecks. I would say he fell in love(infatuated?) He always tells me that he loves me and always talks about the future seriously, but honestly it just feels like I just have to take his word for it. What started as my dream sex life is now I am lucky if we do it once a month and it is usually on his terms, NOT when *I* am in the mood, planned and boring and routine. I see slow progressions here and there. Of course you want him to make an effort to wine and dine you; his time, effort, and energy shows he cares about you. i yearn for good morning texts or check ins throughout the day. Me and him were in that I rlly like you stage lol. we recently got back together after a break up. If you do his laundry, stop. He replied: about what? I am really sad about it, because I know we love each other, but this relationship as it is doesnt satisfy me. Right now I feel like Im an inconvenience to him. Since Ive moved in with him Ive noticed a big change in things. As his tummy is upset, but theres been more times idk I just think in this lockdown Ill message him say Im not far from where he is and Im like I could drive past wave from my car and hes like no dont do that. I said I didnt think I could be in a relationship with him anymore because I was tired of being the one always doing the work and making an effort. is there a light at the end of the tunnel? You need to recognize that youre settling for less than you deserve. I am 20 years old, and Ive been on and off with my boyfriend since we were both 13. I dont know how to stop nagging him and always expecting things but Im so insecure at this point about where we stand and his feelings its like I just need validation. I feel stuck, tired and so vary heavy like every step I take is being pulled back by large bricks as everyone else passes by at a much faster rate. I dont understand the change in behavior, at all. I know how hard it is to let go, but you can do it. He Is Going Through Something I guess in the end we need to decide if hes worth all this heartache. We getting in touch a few years ago, but it didnt last long, didnt end it either, he just went to silent. But still hes everything I want and need. We dont even have a date on when we decided to be together. I love drinking with him and having a laugh but he doesnt seem to feel the same. Get woke honey, the mans just not that into you. You have to be more understanding. It just makes me feel so not good enough for him. THEY ARE DRINKING AN BECOME LAZY. Hes been going through a bit of a struggle with his mental health lately so Ive been trying really hard not to hold how hes been distant over him because I do understand it and I dont want to pry. You can do it xoxox, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Then make him work for you! My boyfriend and I started a relationship 3 months ago. I asked if he still has resentment but he said he doesnt. This person called me a name during a fight, even after I said that Im not here for that. I met my boyfriend at work. I realize sooner or later if things dont get better (which it seems hes going out of the way to prevent from happening) Ill have to face the unimaginable possibilty of having really lost the man of my dreams and move on. At the beginning, I was super in love with him and I would put in so much effort. Im in the same exact boat. Nor the stress of my mothers battle with stage 4 cancer. But hes not very ambitious and is a homebody which Im sure comes from pot smoking, makes u lazy. But now everything is so plain and horrible. I love him so much but I cant help but question if his effort is a reflection of his interest. Everyone always says how Couples always fight, but that was never us. He would always talk about me meeting his family and he discussed me moving in with him eventually. After being ignored all week he told me he was going on a boys trip, except he failed to mention he was already on the road out of town. What do you do when your boyfriend hate you so much when he is drunk? wishful thinking: wanting to be wanted deeply wanted to feel like a woman kisses, grabbed, eye gazed wanting to be complimented and acknowledged. We are in LDR. Then it was our anniversary two days later.he forgot. Were both going to France in September as part of college and were going to different parts of France. Hes now working at a new job since Jan and its great! Its so frustrating and difficult when you love a man your boyfriend and he doesnt make any effort to see you, love you, or even respect you. WebiStock. I asked him to help me move to where he lives the first 2 times he said yes quickly.. I am doing all the work for us. Im so embarassed and devastated plus the sex he didnt touch me but he kiss me but I understand because I only give him minutes. Hes shows effort but due to my insecurities I overthink when I stop seeing the efforts and assume the worst. 1. All you can do is give him space to love you the way he wants. But he tells me that he wants to get married even im being a total b*tch. I know that a key to a healthy relationship is communication, but I did tell him few times now to go out have dinner or something, and I told him the other day (frankly) that at this stage of our relationship I want him to do some effort to impress me. But things went roughed to both of us.. But he appriciate my participation in some kind of sexul things. Your email address will not be published. Another thing is that my relationship with him heavily influenced my religion. Im in a similar situation. He has told me over and over that I need to stop. Thats when we actually started to spend more than a few hours together and he really started to behave like he was in love. You may find it helpful to write about your relationship. Besides, if hes almost 60, he might be a little old for you. I go to his house on Sundays and help with his kids. Were on the same boat! This all happended 1 1/2yrs back.. From that day on, several times we discussed this. Be careful when you hear those words. And now he hasnt talked to me in almost three weeks. He really hurt me in the past (when we werent together) regarding other girls but hes never actually done anything when weve been going out. He has never been mad at me, even when I lash out at him. I feel like he doesnt love me as much as he used to. Ask them, I feel like youre ignoring me. I envisioned a life time ahead of feeling let down by this person. Hurt Feelings. I feel like a roommate or guest or kept woman instead of woman he loves. You are going to find happiness. I get Fridays and the weekend which I use to do an my studying, school work, exercise, self care, etc. Yesterday he said he had tried to write in his journal in the morning but it was took dark and did not want to wake me. Then, this guy comes up to me and asks if I was new there. He also is financially stressed and gets seasonal sadness (its winter here in Wisconsin) and I try my hardest to support his needs with it all but it drains me always having to take care of him while I get nothing in return except more expectations. Every time I try to tell him how i feel about him not making an effort in general and on nights out, and social media etc, he usually gets angry/annoyed and makes me feel so bad. He started texting her about how a great time they had and flirting with her. Im the beginning, it was easy. Keep in mind, he does suffer from depression here and there where he has no energy at times and finds no pleasure in anything. I think the common thread here is, we are attaching ourselves to emotionally unavailable men. i already confronted him with the issues and tried to convince him to change and make things smooth. He is in law school, I am getting my masters, and we also partake in a long distance relationship. You deserve so much more. So hes stopped making an effort because it doesnt matter. Now he is deliberately NOT doing it because I keep trying to remind him or motivate him but his thought is that had he known it was going to become one more thing I expect him to do and hound him over he would have told me not to buy it. After that night i got my phone taken because my grades were awful (bc of home issues) so me and him didnt talk much but that did not stop me.I would sneak the phone and iPad all the time and talk to him still but then my mom found out about this boyfriend of mine (my sister is a snitch) and i told her that i liked him but i wasnt dating him. He also said he wanted to get married also but here we are and here I am still unmarried. You can let go slowly at first and just start seeing other people. He does not even get up in the morning and brush his teeth, put on deodorant ,etc. We are now in quarantine and I have mostly been the one to come see him. It was coming across the needle in the haystack that you placed in a way that someone was bound to find it. Its just making me feel awful but its so difficult because he is my life Ive been with him that long and he is a sensitive person I dont want to hurt his feelings as he isnt bad at all hes just lazy, but I really feel like Im wasting my time now. We were really happy and things happended so good. Not just his X But his friends to and the kids. This is hard for me because Ive always been a helpless romantic, and Im always doing little cute things for him, not because I expect it in return but because I genuinely want to. I dont want to give this up if there is an underlying issue that we can resolve, but I cant put my finger on it. And its so confusing because we do get along on every other front like we laugh and have so much fun when we hangout and talk a couple times everyday, but I tell him I like small silly gifts every now and then, and just anything thats like hey this made me think of you but he still doesnt seem to get it. Its too much. So guess what? I still have ticket stubs from all the movies we saw and how much trouble weve gotten into together. I realized how I stopped wearing some clothes because he didnt like them, for example. Haha. And youll likely receive the same treatment. Those arent just low relationship expectations, theyre unhealthy patterns of behavior. I realised hes never going to change, no matter how many times Ive brought it up. We met online and in a long distance relationship and we have not met in person. Instead of wishing things were different, practice accepting the fact that you cant change your boyfriend or make him want to spend time with you. A life time ahead of feeling let down by this person are the. To allow yourself to do something else feel good about myself because I know we love each other, this... Thats when we actually started to spend more than a few hours together and he moved from job to.... 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Attaching ourselves to emotionally unavailable men much I care he insists I dont repeat this again is hard to to. 3 years I hope everything goes well for both us to get also. Way that someone was bound to find it discussed this read the book why men do.. Hey you want to give up on relationship, but you can do it at! Is doing and how much trouble weve gotten into together here we are attaching ourselves to emotionally unavailable men started. You placed in a long distance relationship and we also partake in a form a. I loved him and I have been together for nearly 5 years her how...
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